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Blowjob 101.... thanks to funtimes
Blowjob Etiquette (by a female) 1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it. 2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful. 3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw, it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face. 4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow. 5. My ears are NOT handles. 6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on your dick? 7. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it through your head - If I'm bloated and I feel like shit, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't have sex right now. 8. Extension to #7 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school girls - if you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol. 9. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my throat, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you. 10. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future. 11. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude. 12. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content. 13. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag. 14. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning".
A Man's Rebuttal (by a male)
1. First of all, yes you're obligated to do it. If you don't, we will find someone (younger, prettier and dirtier) who will. |
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Thanks funtimes for letting be use this | ||
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Me use this, | ||
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Seen this before and think that guys who think like this are jerks. | ||
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MEH! It's all fun and games until someone gets it in the eye!
Really don't care about the politics of Oral Sex.
The only RULE that should apply is: Pleasure your partner, be pleasured by your partner and always reciprocate! | ||
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One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss each other goodnight, the guy starts feeling a little horny. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her: "Darling, would you give me a blowjob?"
Horrified, she replies "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?"
"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
"Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"
"No way. It's just too risky!"
(horny as hell): "Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?"
"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!"
Him: "Oh yes you can. Please?"
"No, no. I just can't"
"I beg you ...please".
Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's | ||
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I'm guessing it wasn't the only thing stuck on the horn | ||
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Boom! Boom! Good one Richo! | ||
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You know strange things happens in taxi's all the time |
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