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| Blogs > scoupe42 > "Redemption" |
"Would you settle"?
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"Would you settle"? Hi, been a while since I actually had a blog, that I written something or try to get a point across. This thought been on my mind, so I figured I'll share. My grand father did what he wanted to do, had his cake and eat it too. Had girlfriends, and would be gone for months at a time, my grand mother always took him back, and they stayed together till their last days. My mom was a hard person to deal with, she played minds games with my dad, and he accept it, I know if it was me, I would had left. But my dad and grand mother had the patience's of Job! Job is in the bible. The book of Job Years ago, I feel in love with someone who I know that wasn't any good, but at that time, I believed in Fairy Tales. I though if I show love and be patience, the story would have a happy ending. With in months in the marriage, she did some things most people would had left. But I hung in there, for I never felt this type of love for anyone like this before! But after six and a half years, I decided enough is enough. It was painful, but I know she wasn't going to change. She said, these words to me, "I ruin you"! You would never trust or never love again! I laughed. I have a neighbor, I mentioned him on pass blogs. He got 5 divorces, lost two houses, a 4 plex apartment, and over $100, 000 in cash, in his divorces. These women has nothing, people ask him why did he settle? He said, he just got so much love to give, but many say he's a fool! I even though he was a fool! One day he told me he was lonely, and a few of the wives, he would do it all again. Wow! To go back to someone who screw you over, and allow them to screw you over again. I been separated and divorce for 30 years, got married young, I never got married again, I said , no multiple marriage for me. I had relationships and dated many, but I never met anyone I wanted to marry. A friend mentioned to me, he said, Drew, been 30 years, and not another wife? Maybe, I'm ruin, or would never trust again! Who know? So if I ever do find a soulmate, that want to be with me. I can ask her this question. "Would you settle"?           |
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Our grandparents and parents lived in different times and viewed their role within marriage differently from how we are today. Monogamy was an ingrained ideal from which they found it very difficult to overcome. I do believe the process of socialization needs an upgrade, even if today's youth realize that monogamy is not the be all and end all. Our culturalization still focuses on outdated ideals of relationships. We are still being socialized to value 'feelings' 'looks' 'attraction' rather than compatibility when choosing a life partner. Later on, through trial and error, we discover the mistake, we come to realized what really matters in sustaining a good partnership. Personally I don't see multiple divorces as a failure or a flaw. Yes the relationships did not work, but there is something positive to be said: that he kept on trying. For that reason, I believe it's better to not dwell on past 'failure' and that it's never too late to find a compatible partner out there. Fail better, isn't that what they say?
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8/2/2020 9:25 am |
We as humans fail to accept this most times and continue self hurt Gottdatgood 
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You know my friend I truly believe there is a lady out there for you, and NO you are NOT RUINED!! You know my first marriage was a very abusive one, and I thought I would never find anyone again. But you know what I did, so never say never my friend as there is that special lady out there searching for a great man like you..I hope you have a thrilling Thursday.. Seduce the mind and see what a wonderful adventure the body will take you on.. 
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I am too old to settle nor do I have to. Lonely at times but, I am my own best company and less aggravation than with Mr. Wrong.
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I guess we're all different. Some people are strong enough on their own, don't need anyone else. Other people need to draw strength from a partner to be able to face life's challenges. And yet it does take a different kind of strength to settle for something that you know isn't quite as right as it could or should be. Love makes the same person behave differently at different times in life. Sometimes all it takes is an illusion. Good, thought-provoking post McScoop, thanks for sharing!
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Personally, no, I wouldn't settle. It may take years for things to officially end, tho, there wasn't really a beginning. That kind of relationship has failure written all over it. It's just hard for us to see with clouded vision ... In Luv, Lite, Laffter ...
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All those words you've written make a lot of sense. Loneliness and the fear of being alone or the fear of not finding anyone, makes people lower their standards and 'settle'. It it better to be alone and unhappy? Or be with someone and be unhappy? Those are the things that drive people to do what they do. There are regrets on BOTH sides of the debate. ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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7/22/2020 7:16 pm |
I have a buddy, who is a dog, women feel like he did them wrong. He been with multiple women. I once envy him, but now I feel bad for him. For he don't know what Love is!
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